Confessions of a Keyword Concubine

I was disappointed yesterday to learn that I was not accepted to write for wiseGeek. Apparently my writing style and the writing style they were looking for were just too divergent. Okay, I’m a big girl. A few minor temper tantrums aside, I can accept that.

In the end, it may even be a positive. They wanted writers who could produce five articles per week at the very least, and I have enough other commitments that that volume of work would have been a challenge. So, goodbye and good luck wiseGeek.

Onto my newest challenge. To console myself, I listened to the soundtrack from the musical Evita, composed by Andrew Lloyd Webber, lyrics by Tim Rice. It chronicles the life of Argentine first lady Eva Peron who died of cancer at the age of 33. The last line of the soundtrack caught my attention: “Money was raised to build a tomb, a monument to Evita. Only the pedestal was completed, and Evita’s body disappeared for seventeen years.”

Where the heck would a body go for seventeen years? I put on my investigative hat, hit the Internet, and quickly learned that Eva Peron’s adventures in death were at least as interesting as her adventures in life. So of course, I wrote an article about it:

What Happened to Eva Peron’s Body? on Suite101.com

As far as other projects go, I’ve been working on some blog posts for a client and writing articles for Text Broker, nothing earthshaking, but enough to bring in a tidy little extra income. ‘Til next time…

In spite of fighting a cold, or allergies, or whatever it is that’s making me sneeze every six seconds day and night, and in spite of a nasty back strain, I’ve actually managed to get a fair amount of writing done, most of it for various article sites.

I’ve signed up to write for Suite101.com. I used to be their Lesbian Issues Contributing Editor way back when, but the writing format has changed drastically. The formal, third-person writing style they now require has been a little difficult for me to master. I’m much happier writing in the first person and addressing my readers in the second person. But I’ve still managed to complete a couple of decent articles. One, “Heart Attack Symptoms in Women” even received an editor’s choice checkmark. The other, “Senior Legal Issues,” hasn’t won any critical acclaim yet, but it touches on a topic that is close to my heart, so that’s okay. I’m currently working on an article about biting hamsters, to be published in the next couple of days.

Associated Content gives me the freedom to rant at will (“Gay Critics of Harry Potter Should Back Off!”) and tackle random subjects just because they happen to interest me (“Six Birthday Party Games for Kids”). I only write for them on a semi-regular basis at best, but it’s a good way to pick up a quick few dollars between assignments.

So, that’s what I’ve been up to lately. Well that, and the cold, and the bad back. Ick. More to come…

Almost every writer has his or her hang-ups when it comes to proper grammar. I know I do. Recently, however, I decided to get the final word on the English language issues that give me the most trouble. You know, the ones I should have learned back in middle school but somehow didn’t.

Anyway, I was so excited with the results of my cramming that I decided to turn my work into an article, Twelve Tricky Grammar Questions. Surf on over, take the quiz and see how you do.

And since I’m always interested in improving my skills, feel free to leave comments about your trickiest grammar issue and how you finally resolved it.

Good luck!

It’s been kind of a bleah weekend. Even though I kept up with my work just fine, I couldn’t seem to get emotionally invested in anything. Finally I decided that maybe what my senses needed was a good shock. So I rented Rob Zombie’s Halloween, the remake of the classic 1978 movie starring Jamie Lee Curtis and Donald Pleasence.

It was a two-hour long non-stop splatterfest with plenty of suspense for even the most jaded of souls. It certainly woke me up. But did it make the grade? You can read my thoughts at Associated Content: “Halloween 2007: It’s Bloodier than the Original, But Is It Scarier?”

‘Til next time!

Years ago I took Model Mugging, an intense self defense program that allows women to practice fighting back full force against a heavily padded “mugger.” I learned many valuable things from that program including my favorite motto, “If you are facing an opponent, and also opposing yourself, you are going to be outnumbered.”

But perhaps the most important piece of advice I learned was this: wait for an opening. I’ll never forget that day. It was a rape sequence. The mugger had me pinned to the floor, his legs against my legs, his hands holding my hands over my head. I was struggling like crazy to free myself but not getting anywhere. “Don’t waste your energy!” my instructor coached. “Sooner or later he’ll give you an opening. Until then, pretend you’re a coiled spring just waiting for the perfect opening to show your power.” Sure enough, the mugger eventually reached down with one hand to unzip himself. As soon as I had a hand free I went for the eyes and then the throat. When he reared back, I pulled my legs clear of his weight and kicked him as hard as I could. He rolled over with his hands up, the signal to the instructor that my kick would have been hard enough to knock out a man who wasn’t wearing padding.

As I rebuild my writing career, I think about that lesson. Rather than struggle fruitlessly with assignments I don’t want, I’m waiting for an opening, a project that interests me. When I find the right opportunity I’ll move forward full force. Until then, I’m “coiling,” preparing myself mentally and physically to get back into the hard business that is writing. Waiting isn’t easy, but sometimes it’s mandatory.

My first novel, Visiting Grandma, has been described by reviewers as “touching” and “unforgettable.” But don’t take their word for it–now you can come and see for yourself. The first two chapters of Visiting Grandma are featured on FreeBookExcerpts.com.

FreeBookExcerpts.com is operated by the same terrific people who own Booklocker and WritersWeekly. It presents the perfect win-win situation, allowing authors and publishers to provide a sample of their work so that readers can try before they buy. To list your own book or to discover good books by other writers, visit FreeBookExcerpts.com today.

I do a lot of medical writing based upon my experience as a social worker in the healthcare field. But there are times when a “just-the-facts-ma’am” approach feels too dry and clinical. Some pieces need a real-life example or two to illustrate a point or to spark the reader’s interest. At the same time, my clients have an absolute right to privacy. So how to write a lively article on the one hand without violating confidentiality on the other? I’ve developed several tricks over the years.

*Change names. That’s pretty much a no-brainer, but by itself it isn’t enough. Ideally, the person I’m writing about should be able to read my article without thinking, “Hey, that’s me!”

*Change identifying details that don’t affect the outcome of the story. Perhaps the real client I’m describing is a 45 year old man who lives in Kansas. In my article, he’ll become a 52 year old woman who lives in Missouri. Perhaps the real client I’m describing suffered from lung cancer. In my article, the diagnosis will become pancreatic cancer.

*Combine two or more stories into one. If several of my clients have had similar experiences, I may combine their experiences into one story, taking the age from one, the gender from another, the diagnosis from another, and so forth.

*Ask permission. If a story is so unique that I can’t adequately disguise my subject’s identity, I ask his or her permission to write about it. Most people are flattered that I find their lives so interesting. In fact, I’ve only had one woman say no when I asked permission to write about her, and after thinking it over she later said I could share her story but only after she died.

Using real life examples can add spice to even the dullest topics. Just be sure that you either get your subject’s permission or adequately disguise personal details before you hit the “publish” key.

I turned down a writing job this week. The pay was $1.00 per 500-word article. A decent well-written and well-researched 500-word article takes me between half an hour to an hour to write. In other words, I was being offered a pay rate of $1.00 to $2.00 per hour. That’s less than I made in high school as a babysitter…and that was more than twenty years ago!

There was a time when I would have taken the job, reasoning that it paid something and at least I was getting some experience. No more. My time is worth more than that, and I’m plenty experienced.

Yes turning down work can be hard, especially if there aren’t any other gigs in sight. In the past, I’ve accepted several assignments for less pay than I wanted. But I think it’s important to remember that every time I–or any other writer–accepts an assignment that pays next to nothing, we’re sending the message that ridiculously low pay is acceptable and that our work is worth very little.

So, here’s my challenge to you: the next time you get offered way too little money for a job, stop and think. How badly do you really want that assignment? What benefit will you get from doing it? If you aren’t crazy about the topic or using the assignment as a springboard for researching a better-paying project, maybe it’s time to say, “No.” Try it. If you’re anything like me, you’ll have a little initial anxiety about turning down a paying job, but after that you’ll feel strong, empowered, and in better charge of your own writing career.

Hi Everyone.

I know it’s been a long time since I posted. Thanks for bearing with me. I’ve had a lot going on.

For one thing, I have bipolar disorder (also known as manic-depressive disorder). Don’t be jealous–it sounds like more fun than it is. Anyway, I’ve been going through a long period of depression which has made anything more than mere existence almost unthinkable.

I also committed myself to too many projects, and while I finished everything–and by its due date, no less–I flat got myself burned out.

In spite of all that, writing is my first love, so I’m returning to my freelance career…but cautiously. From now on, I’m going to be careful not to accept jobs that pay slave wages for dozens of hours of work. I’m also going to stay away from projects that don’t interest me. Life is too short to spend hours researching fascinating facts about folding chairs. (I’m not kidding…I really did ghost write a series of articles on folding chairs.)

I’m also changing the format of this blog a little. Oh, I’ll still let you know if I come upon a fun read or a great writing resource, but mostly I’ll be writing about my own experiences as a freelancer. I hope other freelancers will find this site and start posting comments. Writing is often a very isolating and isolated activity, and the more support we writers can give each other the better.

So, anyway, it’s great to be back. I look forward to sharing my journey with you. And now, Mr. DeMille, I’m ready for my close up.